i was kind of sad ytd morning when i waked up.
why ?
oh lols.
its becuz of my dream la.
=.=
at the end of the concert we are supposedly to play a solo piece.
am damn worried abt it lor.
and i dreamed tht no one offered help for me.
=.=
samantha say she just dun wanna help me.
stacy oso.
clari just simply ignored me and walked to the other person.
=.=
lols
its such a scary dream,
tht when i waked up i tot its real.
=.=
but the fact tht samantha, stacy&clari are so good to me finally wake me up.
hahaha
clari offered me duat.
stacy and samantha offered me trio !
:D :D :D
am so damn happy !
hahaha.
indeed another happy day in band,
but my stupid clarinet just dun wanna work for me
tried clari instru and cn play nicely.
=.= so means nt my prob la its the instru.
=.= but amanda cn play my instru wif her mouthpiece.
=.= so mayb still my a bit problem.
went to storm room with mr chua.
he checked and checked my instru,
tape here tape there,
and the fact tht, =.=
i still cnt play.
pissed him off. =.=
but ltr he find out tht the thg tht gt problem is my mouthpiece.
he said : aiyo ! cnt la ! like gonna stuck there liddat !
haha ! finally find out the solution !
i tried on his mouthpiece with his reed,
and the fact tht i cn play every note effortlessly,
make me happy !
nt my problem le yea !
=.=
but den he tell me tht his mouthpiece cost 3oo dollar,
and mine most probably cost 30 dollar.
=.= 10 times different man !
WAT CRAP !
lols.
anw den i changed a new mouthpiece but its still not tht good.
i thk am gonna to bring my own instru to the sch despite the "farness"
fine,
like wat clari had said,
its worth the distance.
ya i thk so,
i just so hate my instru in sch.
especially wif clari beside me hu use a sooooo nice instrument.
jealous until my spec drop la.
ararar
anw aft band went to eat at eighteen chef with stacy samantha & clari.
made a reservation of stacys name .
hushhush !
suddenly i rmb the song tht clari keep on singing. =.=
saw sihui n beatriz.
and during the reserving period went to buy rubber band.
haha actually is they pei me go find the necklace la.
aft tht bought rubber band.
and i gt a free one !
ate curry sausage cheese bake rice !
yummy !
oh and extra top up of sausage cuz stacy dun want !
oh stacy, i love u so much !
ate stacys icecream too.
cuz she cnt eat !
:D hahaha
actually clari oso wan give me her icecream one.
but she say she cnt resist le. =.=
aft tht went to take bus wif clari
and went hm.
=.=
haha okay thts all.
bye ~

lols
=.=
idk wat to do sia
so sian
ths week so damn busy
EVERYDAY cca leh
walao eh
i no nid to study izit ?
crazy one leh.
ltr gt sectionals again
wearing section tee
aiya watever la.
i just find it so sian
=.=
=.=
watever
idk wat to post le
byebye

oh gosh
ths is just so ridiculous
=.=
the anglican high sch hand book 2009,
tht i had been looking for for abt 8 months,
jumped out of my hse just nw.
=.=
its like,
todae is the first day of holiday eh !
wat the !
ths is freaking stupid lor.
=.=
haix, nvm
i shall just take it as suvenior
lols

its the ugly truth.
the really ugly one.

actually,
i have no idea what am i going to write in this post,
today in school i had gastric,
back home ealier,
i sat down and thought really deeply.
hey why is this just happening to me ?
i know i had really done a lot of wrong things.
really a lot a lot.
am telling people that i can not stand vulgarities,
when in side my heart,
i shout it out loud when am angry.
what's this ?
should that be what you should do as a daughter of God.
i gossiped behind people's back whereas i ask people not to do that to us ?
its unreasonable.
but i don't really understand,
why does everything start to change since the time i came back from China ?
what happened ?
its the ugly fact that i had no idea at all.
but i choose to trust winnie le,
even if she's wrong,
i've trusted her already,
what else can i do ?
abandone her and wenjing, qinlin and wanrong just for you ?
all rights man,
its totally impossible,
i think that my friendship with wanrong n qinlin is tough.
we quarreled many times,
we got backstabbed by the same person when our friendship is not even strong.
but we still make it to the end.
i thank God for that.
its just impossible to let go of their hands,
and so the same for winnie, wenjing and the rest.
i remember in the beginning of the year,
where we sit near to each other,
and everytime you would call me to buy sweets for you,
and everytime we would be together taking some videos,
and we will laugh and laugh and laugh non-stop.
isn't that wonderful memories ?
oh but i almost forgot,
its all over now.
its the ugly truth that because of winnie,
you start to hate me,
and its also the ugly truth that,
because of one of your good fren who i suppose,
backstabbed me somehow,
i started to hate you.
God says we must be mercy and forgive and forget.
but sometimes its just so difficult for me to do.

its the ugly truth that i said bad things of you and thought really negatively about you.
because of all that confections that happened weeks ago,
you saw my tears ya ?
do you think thats faked ?
i suppose i told you before the reasons when i would cry,
its my heart pain.
most of the pain physically i could bear with it,
but not with my heart yea ?
but its even the more uglier truth that,
you said to my friends who are neutral,
bad things about me ?
ya ?
we are not stupid,
its obvious.
its got another 3 years in band that we will meet each other.
and its gt another 3 chance that we will be in the same class.

i know about my own ugly truth,
i trust people too easily,
and am always over-protective.
but i never regret all that i had done ?
i've standed up for winnie and now i've make myself a group of enemies.
all that i done for winnie resulting me in what ?
spammed blog, losing of friends, gaining of enemies, vulgarities about me.
so have i regretted ?
hmmm, maybe in the future i will,
but so far i havent realise yet.
am sure that i gained something,
i think i had became more matured in friendship.
you are a good friend indeed,
but winnie is better.
qinlin and wanrong is the best.
i believe no one hate me in my clique,
we might not be best friends,
but we were good friends.
so whats really good friendships ?
you will get test for it.
did i had quarrel with wanrong or qinlin ?
yes i did,
i remembered in the beginning i scolded them inside my heart,
but so ?
are we still friends now ?
the answer is obvious rite ?
are we just friends ?
we are toghter in school most of the times.
but the ugly truth is,
we are all going to different classes,
next year,
maybe we will be just a hi-bye friends,
next next year,
maybe we will not be even saying hi-bye.
but so what ?
i've got all the photos taken,
they are the best memories of my secondary 1 life.
and i still have my cliques.
am not alone.
oh i think am a bit out of points already.
but its just pitiful to lose you,
you are really a good friend,
i will remember all our good memories and deleted the bads in my brain.
but its wonderful to gain the cliques,
lastly,
this would be my words for all my friends,
i really thank you for the memories i had.
and extra thanks to wanrong and qinlin whom,
all this while,
been standing by my side.
cliques, you all are the bestest out of the best.
i here wish all of you a wonderful year ahead,
and i really hope that we do keep in touch even when we go to different classes,
clique outing all rights ?
we shall forgot about all our worries and just came to talk with our old friends.
my loves,
cliques,
freda, liyun, qinlin, wanrong, michelle, samantha, wenjing, winnie, xinni, desiree & hilda.
girls, lets all jiayou for next year and make other great friends.
but just, leave some space for the cliques in youe heart.

ha,
i think am going to cry,
only 2 more days left in school.
oh please,
let us have more time.

am starting to reread my bible,
ths time, eng one.
i come across ths verse frm matthew chapter 7
it says:

1. do not judge, or you too will be judged.
2. for in the same way you judges others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3. why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
4. how can you say to your brother. 'let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?
5. you hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearlyto remove the speck from your brother's eye.

i reli wan to thank god for giving me ths 5 verses.
i thk it reli describe the situation happening nw,
basically,
wat it is saying is:
do not judge or gossip ppl or else u will be done the same way,
hw do you thk abt others is hw others thk abt you.
why do u thk tht other ppl gt attitude prob when u urself's attitude is nt good?
how cn u tell others, let me help out wif ur attitude prob when u gave a black face?
so stop faking, change ur own attitude be4 u wan to do so to others.

oh it reli described hw i feel,
so far,
i thk i've reli done a lot of wrong
i thk i reli showed black face to u sometimes
and truth enough,
i did gossip u guys
u kw hu am toking abt,
i kw u would see ths post
so am just wishing to tell u,
nw tht i had realise my mistake,
i hope u realise it too.
u kw the reason y u wan to say abt others ?
y ?
have u ever ask urself ?
1 suggestion to u,
try to thk frm another perspective,
r we doing everythg wrong ?
all is there reasons tht interlock with each others ?
like wat u had said ?
i dun wan to say until like am someone tht r giving u lessons liddat
i dun wan to act matured or watever
am onli 2 yr older than u,
which is nt veri much
i just sincerly apologise to those ppl tht i had gossiped be4.
u kw hu u r alrite ?
so i reli hope tht thgs would b changed.
just stop doing thgs when u have fun by hurting others.
its just not the way.

oh no am getting more and more excited now adays about spark
:(
tht the fact tht i cnt even make myself to go and sleep at night
i keep thking abt the thgs happen last yr,
and mayb the thgs gng to happen ths yr.
lol
ths is kind of lame la.
watever
=.=
anw,

J
I
A
Y
O
U

and

I
N
V
I
T
E

more

P
E
O
P
L
E

!!!!!

ok fine am super bored nw
:(
i had played com the whole day and nw my eyes hurts
:(
i gt nth to do so thts y am here to blog la
:)
oh ya,
i bet u all cnt see my cursors nw
cuz its BLACKKKKKK
=.=
lols.
its nice but i dun like it
it move so damn slow like a snail...
=.=
anw,
i thk am gng to buy a new fone le,
cuz e stupid fone i buy in china,
nw cnt even charge properly...
-.-
oh and am gng to do hair extension/highlighting during e holidays
i hope band allows tht?
suggest me wat colour suits me yea ?
am gonna look younger and even more hyper !
haha
hope tht through the spark i cn grow n learn to lead ppl !
J
I
A
Y
O
U

N
A
I
B
A
!!!!!!

its the fact tht am the best in my heart la
duh
=.=
haha